Helping A Friend With Adoption
Being pregnant brings with it many feelings…some good, some not so great when you are a teenager. It can be an extremely confusing time in a teenager’s life. There are tons of questions, issues with figuring out what your own beliefs are versus those of your parents, and self doubt. Even for the most “strong” and confident young woman, the reality of an unplanned pregnancy can turn someone’s life upside down.
Teenage pregnancy becomes even more complicated when teenagers are at a point when they must finally make a decision as to what they want to do. For some, adoption will be their choice. To learn more, visit Lifetime Adoption. When choosing adoption, the role of a friend becomes even more important for an expectant teenage mother.
Many friends that choose to stick around and help their pregnant friend through this situation may wonder what they can do to help her after she’s made her decision. This is a very noble and exceptionally caring gesture for a young person to make in the name of friendship.
Here are a few things to consider and possible ways that you can help your pregnant friend after she has made her decision:
- Be more ready to listen than to give advice. Unless you have been in her situation before, it is best that you make yourself available to just listen to her. She will need someone to share her true feelings with even more now than ever before.
- Be available to wipe her tears. Your friend may cry a lot. Her tears may be because of the emotional turmoil that she is feeling, not just because of “this” or “that”, but because of all of those different things that she is experiencing. Tears may flow at weird times, but you can’t hold that against her. She will need to let it out and being there to offer a tissue and a shoulder are very important and, for her, very valuable. Remember, tears are normal and not an indication that this is the “wrong” decision.
- Offer some fun activities or things to help to take her mind off of things for a bit. While nothing can make everything “all better”, a few moments of distraction can help your friend to cope.
- Don’t be afraid to give her some space. The truth is, she may not want to talk or see anyone. Don’t take it personally. She has just experienced a very serious life situation. While she is still a teenager like you, she is also someone that has made a huge personal sacrifice by deciding to place her baby for adoption.
- Help her to see the positives of her situation. Your friend may not be able to see the “light” at the end of the tunnel. Remind her that she has her whole life before her and all of the wonderful possibilities. If she wants to talk about the child that she gave up for adoption, then, talk about it. Imagine with her, the great life that the child will have being loved and cared for by his or her adoptive parents. Remind her these are people that will give the child the best life possible.
An unplanned teenage pregnancy can affect so many people’s lives, from the teenage mother-to-be to the friends that care, like you. Working through feelings is a very personal experience, but knowing that there is someone that is willing to be a strong arm of support can help to make the process seem not as heavy or lonely. Being willing to be there for your friend is something that she will never forget as you both go on with your lives.