Is It Hard To Be A Teen Mom?
Q: I’m 14, almost 15, and i really want a baby. i know i could be a good mom. i would give them all the love and attention they would need. i realllllly want to have a baby to love on. Do you have any advice? Is it hard to be a teen mom?
A: The first thing I would ask is why do you think or believe that now is the time you want to be a mom. Why are you in such a hurry at such a young age?
To answer your question, yes, it is very hard to be a teen mom. Ask any teen mom about the sacrifices she has made. Find out if she would do it as a teen again if she had the choice, or wait until she had more life behind her and more support in front of her for her and her child.
I am glad you are positive about being a good mom. Many teens are filling an empty spot in their lives that they believe a baby can fill. They think a child is someone that will always love them. But being a good mom, especially as a teen isn’t easy, or we would not have so many children in child protective service and foster care. I am sure most of those young moms, had dreams as you did, but missing some support, wisdom, and knowledge. Without financial support that is needed to raise a child, they were led into places they never dreamed they would go when they got pregnant.
Do you have a good role model like your mom, grandmother or friend’s mom? Is your dad around? Does he love your mom, love you, and spend time showing you what a good man is like? Without this, your chances are harder for success, it is not impossible and some people have beat the odds and become good teen parents, but they have done it with a great deal of determination and resources.
As a teen mom, your chances are increased of falling into a trap of becoming involved with a guy that will abuse you and your children. The possibilities of living in poverty for many years or for your entire life are increased as well. Are you willing to bring your child up without the support and basics that they need? Sure they can survive, but the children in Haiti are surviving but they don’t deserve the poverty and pain they are going through? Why would you intentionally do this to a child?
Giving a child love and attention are just the beginning. There are sacrifices that you will have to make, and you may come to resent the fact you are giving up so much at your age to care for a demanding baby. Your future child needs you to become a healthy, productive, wise, and independent mother. Ask yourself, are you sure you are ready to be that type of mother?
Anna, a 15 year old gave up her life when she decided to parent. Her parents didn’t support her and she ended up living with an older guy, who was secretly selling drugs. Over time, Anna’s young daughter was abused by the people who came in and out of their home. Three years later, in a drug raid on their apartment, Anna was arrested for child endangerment and her daughter taken from her.
Do you want to take the chance of messing up your life? And the life of your baby?
Why not wait until you find a guy that you love, who is mature enough to love you back, support a family? Take the time now to have some fun, learn about life, and become independent so your child will have a parent who is not a child themselves. Your chances of success will go way up!
A teen choosing to become a parent and not yet out of school is the equivalent of someone walking in front of a bus and saying “I won’t get hurt.” It is just dreaming of what if someone loved me.
Speak to your school counselor, parent, or a youth pastor. There is something missing in your life, and I think once you find out what, you can fill it with what you really need at this age. You will be happier and some day your dreams of being a loving and devoted parent will have a chance for becoming a reality. You deserve it and your future children deserve it too. Think about it.
If you need more information or stories of teen moms visit the “My Story” page.